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By Athol Kay of Prudential Connecticut Realty
http://reagentinct.com/
In any other situation it's called a partial seizure. During a showing it's called The Thanksgiving Turkey Test. That's the one where the buyers are pretty interested in the home and everything is going pretty well, then suddenly the female half of the buying couple makes a beeline back into the kitchen and just stands there.
The "standing there" could take a little while. There may be odd movements and vocalizations. It's really important not to disturb her. What she's doing is trying to imagine if she's comfortable pulling the Thanksgiving Turkey out of the oven in this particular kitchen. Open your mouth and you break the spell. Just let her come out of it on her own.
Oh sure the kitchen is just fine... at least it is to you foul mouthed oafs that make a ham and potato chip sandwich and just spin the loaf of bread afterwards and tuck the end under. Yeah... me too, guilty as charged. True story - back in the in the early days of wedded bliss I once came home from Wal-Mart with a box of matching plates, cups and bowls. When asked how many were in the box, I did the math and said "four days worth"...
... apparently that was the wrong answer.
It turns out that when there are just two of you, and you have a four day supply of plates, you have eight settings. Then I had to wash brand new plates! I had to take them right from the box and wash them. She's not due for PMS until Tuesday either, so she's like Basic Instinct calm as she said we had to wash them too. I'm freaking out man.
Sorry, wandered off for a bit there. Anyway, um... wife, kitchen, the standing there, imagining if it's possible to pull off T-Day. I'm right back with you now. Focused.
So, here's the snap of the wet towel - you have to pass the Thanksgiving Turkey Test in the photo of the kitchen. Buyers will study the kitchen photo like no other.
The good news is that the kitchen photo is the easy one to get right. The biggest key is simply making sure the kitchen is clean as possible, and decluttered as possible. I go really, really, and I mean really decluttered. Move the toaster, the spice rack, the candle, the cat's food bowl, the dish towels out of the shot. If it's an ornamental towel hanging on the handle of the oven that the First Lady gave your grandmother, they can either bring an offer, or you take it out of the shot. Take everything that isn't nailed down out of the shot, with the exception of just two magical items that can sit on the counter.
1. A coffee maker - because coffee symbolizes relaxation, enjoyment and can cap the end of a successful dinner event.
2. A roll of paper towels - symbolizes ease of use and cleanliness.
Now there are a bunch of other important things that do matter in kitchen shots, especially making sure the verticals are vertical, but I'll hit that up another time. The lion's share of the emotional impact in the kitchen is just going to be the open space and the cleanliness.
P.S. Fridge magnets are of the devil.
P.S.S. Yes I know that this entire post is completely sexist in assuming that the woman/wife will be in control of all the cooking etc for Thanksgiving. In my defense, all I can say is that I've seen multiple instances of very even tempered, domestically egalitarian, women turn into possessed maniacs attempting to channel "Betty Crocker on a good day" around Thanksgiving. Suddenly the way cloth napkins are folded becomes as important as correctly following the checklist for the deployment of Space Shuttle. In situations like this the best advice is to repeat the phrase "everything was fabulous" until the situation has resolved. My point remains salient though - home buying is rarely rational.
P.S.S.S You're probably wondering about about the "stabbing with the fork" bit in the title. Here's the story... I got up in the middle of the night for a drink of water... the turkey was left in a chicken stock/brine thing in a cooler in the kitchen...anyway, long story short, we had to clean the kitchen floor, I sustained "superficial fork wounds", and everything was fabulous.
